A Christmas to Remember...

That year was a memorable one in our lives as a family and not for reasons I was proud of. As a newly divorced single mother, only two months into the realities of single parenting, I had zero dollars to spend on Christmas and four kids who had been accustomed to very generous Christmases up until that year.

I was depressed. Not only was I grieving the loss of my marriage, but the thought of Christmas was sending me over the edge. I didn't want my kids to be on the receiving end of any further losses. The break up of our family had forced me to sell our home, move the kids into a tiny apartment, get rid of our family pet, since the apartment wouldn't allow dogs, and forced me to take a job that took me out of the home and left the kids as “latch key” kids for the first time in their lives. Now, Christmas was chasing me down and I was dreading telling my four children they shouldn't expect gifts this Christmas. I was broker than broke and feeling pretty miserable about it all. I was wishing, if there were any way possible, could we just skip Christmas that year?

But, sometimes, our kids surprise us in the most amazing ways. And that was the case that year. I sat them all down and laid the cards on the table. We didn't have any money for Christmas. Period. Just that simple. Sorry, but, that was the reality. No way to fix it. Or so I thought.

In the middle of my explanation of why we would have to cancel Christmas, my youngest son, then only ten years old, smiled at me with a grin that spread across his face from ear to ear and said he didn't see why we couldn't still exchange gifts. He suggested that we pull names from a hat and buy a gift for the person whose name we had pulled, limiting the gift to no more than five dollars. I wasn't too big on the idea but the enthusiasm he had for the plan was contagious. All the kids jumped on the band wagon and playfully embraced Matt's plan, all pretending it would be the best Christmas they had ever experienced.

They sat and mulled it over for quite awhile, as if it were a master plan requiring hours of thoughtful, strategic planning. I marveled at these kids – so willing to accept,with grace and love for each other, the hand that had been dealt to them that year – the worst they had ever experienced in their young lives.

I could not have imagined the care that these kids put into their shopping that year. On the smallest of budgets, they shopped for just the right gift for each other, chosen to tickle the heart of the one on the receiving end of the gift. The entire month before Christmas was a ritual of playful teasing and guessing who had who and what had they purchased. I'm not sure they ever had more fun with Christmas.

I could not tell you today what any one of those gifts was that night. As their mom, I sat and watched the love of these kids so beautifully on display as they wished each other a Merry Christmas, ending a year of heartache and pain that none of us would ever forget. The little five dollar gifts we gave each other that year were just cover! Wrapped over and under and in between those silly little gifts was the priceless message “I love you – no matter what...”

As I watched my kids celebrate Christmas that year, I realized God had used my children to teach me the meaning of real love. It cannot be broken - not by divorce, not by hardship, not by the experience of “poverty” that we found ourselves in that Christmas.  'Love never fails!'  

Christmas was simply never sweeter...

Scripture Reference: 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 NKJV

“Love suffers long and is kind;

love does not envy;

love does not parade itself,

is not puffed up;

does not behave rudely,

does not seek its own,

is not provoked,

thinks no evil;

does not rejoice in iniquity,

but rejoices in the truth;

bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

Love never fails...!”

Outrageous Love

The reality of sin in my life came home to me again today. How about you? Is it a reality in your life, too? Does it sometimes threaten to bury you? Or at least, to derail you from any thoughts of serving the Lord? I'd like to tell you no, I don't have that problem. But, that would be a lie. And we all know what that is! Truth to tell, though, I don't like the whole concept of sin. It humbles me and teaches me my dependency on God.

These are radical thoughts in our sophisticated, modern society. We are encouraged to pretend sin doesn't exist anymore, if it ever really did. But that's not what the bible tells us. It calls sin what it is and lays it on the table for all of us to see!

There are so many stories in the bible that show us the reality of sin in the lives of the people of God and their complete dependency on Him for forgiveness and restoration. I revel in these stories! So many sinners! They were far from the perfect little cardboard characters you and I would probably create if we were telling the story. But, God shows us their weakness, their depravity, their sin in all of its ugliness. And then He shows us, He loved them anyway!

We all know about Moses, the great leader of God's people. But, before God rescued him, Moses was a murderer and a coward, hiding in the desert for forty years. Or David, an adulterer, murderer, and liar, pretending he was God's man until confronted with his sin. Or Paul, a self-proclaimed murderer and persecutor of the church. Paul never got over the reality of his sin and the forgiveness of his God.

Of course, women were no strangers to the sin game. How about the woman caught in adultery, the demon possessed Mary Magdalene, the bitter Naomi? I love that the Word of God spares none of the ugly details in telling us about His people. By far, though, my favorite sinner of all time just has to be Peter.

Here was Peter, one of the closest confidants of Jesus for three years; the first to declare that he knew Jesus was the Son of God; the one who walked on water with Jesus. But, then, we see Peter taking Jesus aside and REBUKING Him! How out of touch can you be?! Poor Peter! It's Peter that brings forth the stinging rebuke from Jesus: "Get behind me Satan!" It's Peter snoring away under the moonlight as Jesus sweats drops of blood a few feet away, on the night of the crucifixion. It's Peter jumping up out of his sleep and, full of his usual bravado, chops off the ear of the soldier. It's Peter, scared to death of being associated with Jesus, who denies he even knows this Jesus guy, not once but three times! It's Peter punctuating his words with swearing just to make sure everyone believes - he NEVER knew the man! It's Peter staring into the eyes of Jesus from across the courtyard, realizing the full weight of his sin.

It's Peter hiding in the Upper Room, afraid that he might meet the same fate as his friend, Jesus. It's Peter unable to forgive himself for his failure to follow Jesus, like he always said he would. It's Peter ashamed to look Jesus in the eye after the Resurrection.

It's Peter that Jesus sees hiding in the corner, buried in self-condemnation. It's Peter that Jesus reaches for and still loves, in spite of his sin. It's Peter, breaking under the weight of the love of His Redeemer that accepts His forgiveness. It's Peter who understands finally that he is a sinner in need of a Savior. It's the love of Christ that sets him free.

How about you? Do you ever find yourself hiding in the corner, ashamed of your sin? Do you ever struggle to forgive yourself? Do you believe that He loves you in spite of your sin? Is He calling your name? Has He set YOU free?!

Scripture Reference: "Therefore, if the Son sets you free, you shall be free indeed." John 8:36

The Bag Lady (Reprint!)

I had only known her a short time, but we were instant friends. I was brand new to the church I was attending; she a founding member from way back. I was really very shy - she didn't seem to have a shy bone in her body. I was trying to find where the Lord was leading me - she was certain she was called to the mission field - in Romania of all places. She was well over 50 years of age. I watched incredulously as she began the preparations for her missionary journey.

She was just a little, middle aged, mother and grandmother. She didn't strike me as the "world traveling" type. She wasn't what I would have called daring. I loved to watch her sitting in the pew on a Sunday evening with her little granddaughter asleep on her lap. She always brought her granddaughter, who always slept through the whole service, resting in the secure knowledge of her grandmother's certain love.

She had never been outside the United States. She would have to go through at least a year or two of training and fund raising before she could embark on her journey. She was a bit like Moses! Called late in life; not sure of herself at all, but determined to follow His call.

I was with her the day she departed from O'Hare International Airport for the long trek to Romania. So were her daughter and little granddaughter. We drove to the airport attempting to hide the tension that dripped from every corner of the car. When we arrived at the airport, she began to unload bag after bag after bag of her belongings into a cart to drag across the airport to the gate where she would depart. She was laughing. We were trying not to cry.

After trooping all over the airport to find the gate she needed, she stood at the ramp to get on the plane, waving to us with a cheerful smile and blowing kisses to us all. I could not believe what I was witnessing. I found myself averting my eyes from her children - this was really a sacred moment in the life of this family as they said goodbye to their mother and grandmother. There were no tears. It was as if she was going shopping at the mall and would be back by evening's end. It was surreal.

Here was a woman, old by most standards of our culture, saying goodbye to the dearest things in the world to her. Her daughter, whom she described as "owning her heart". Her granddaughter who was like gold to her. My eyes could hardly take in the scene I was watching. Everyone said their controlled goodbyes, she disappeared into the belly of the plane and we walked in silence to the car for the long trip home without her.

I sat in the front seat as we entered the stream of endless cars fighting for a position in line to get out of the madhouse that was O'Hare Airport that day. Surrounded by a silence that enveloped us like a shroud, I wanted to get home as quickly as possible. Suddenly it happened. An ear piercing cry from the backseat shattered the silence and the pretense that this was no big deal. Her dear little granddaughter could no longer contain the pain of "losing" her grandmother. She cried inconsolably all the way home and rocked back and forth trying to fill the gap of her grandmother's arms around her.

There it was. The truth. All pretense was gone. Shattered by the love of a child who couldn't play the game anymore. She had just said goodbye to someone who loved her more than life itself. There are no words to console a child in that moment. I knew this had been excruciating for her and for her grandmother. I imagined my friend, alone, heading to a strange place so many miles away from home. I imagine she too cried on the plane - all the way to Romania...

I have never forgotten that day. She may have looked like a little old "bag lady". But, in truth, she is probably the most courageous person I have known in my lifetime. She just loved Jesus. She 'counted the cost' and willingly paid it all. I still stand amazed.

Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with a friend like this. She has witnessed to me a love for You that knows no bounds. And for that, I will be eternally grateful.


Scripture Reference: Mark 10:29

"I assure you of this. Anyone who leaves house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children, for My sake and for the Gospel, will receive in return a hundred times as much..."