Manchester, England...

Manchester, England

So far away

But today I can reach out and feel your pain

Mothers and fathers screaming for their children

Ripped from their arms forever

Senseless

Cruelty

Barbaric

Evil laughing in the streets over our grief

I am broken, Lord, God

Did You see what they did to my baby?

Were You there?

I can't feel You, right now.

There are no words for the depth of my heartache

No words

Please bring her back to me

Where is she now?

Do You know?

Do You have her?

Is she scared?

Is she crying for me?

Do You know how to love her like I do?

Why did You take her from me?

Why?

All of the innocent lives that have been stolen

All of the children who have been changed forever

What is happening to our world?

I don't understand

I hate all of this

Are You anywhere in all of this?

Are You still alive?

Are You still God?

Yes, meet me here, Oh, God

or

I will surely die...

Without You, Lord

I cannot go on

I cannot take another step

My life is seeping out 

I so need You, Lord

I need you to give me hope...

Broken

Desperate

Never the same

I will cling to You

My Life

My Only Hope

On the Way, I Lost it, I Lost it...

"I have come to seek and save that which was lost..."
Matthew 18:11

A tiskit a taskit.

A green and yellow basket.

I wrote a letter to my love

And on the way I lost it.  

I lost it. 

I lost it…

I see a little girl running.

The street lights are on – it’s time to come home. 

It’s time for dinner. 

Daddy’s home.

Something smells good. 

It’s so cold outside.

Why isn’t it warm inside?

I am so hungry…

On the way, 

I lost it… 

I lost it…

Why did I run into this place, thinking it was home?

Why did I call him daddy?

I try to turn and run, but it’s too late.

I am trapped and it is all my fault… 

I never should have expected to find love here. 

I don’t know where it’s hiding, but, I can’t find it here…

On the way,

I lost it. 

I lost it…

It’s so dark. 

So cold. 

So hateful.  So killing.

I ran to him a little girl.

But, I have never seen her again...

On the way, 

I lost her 

I lost her...

Search for me O' God, and find me.  

For I am lost in the depth of my heart…

Shelter me from the harm of my pain and the fury of my anger.

Breathe on me Breath of God and fill me with new life.

Wash away the filthiness that sticks to me like tar.

Be to me the love I lost and never found.

Are You the One who looked for me?

I hid behind the door and watched You search for me.

I so hoped You would find me, hiding, wanting to be found.

You never gave up.

You called my name. 

You spied me watching You in the dark, afraid to answer. 

You ran to me.

You ran to me. 

How can it be that You wanted me? 

That You ran to me?

I once was lost

And now I’m found…

Lord, My Safe, Safe Place,

Keep me in the Shelter of Your love

Forever

70 x 7

The Impossible Commands of Jesus...


Te adora semper et semper
Is not love forever and ever?
My heart never thinks of you
 That the scars don't rip open and bleed anew.

I have hated you so long,
I have forgotten
Once upon a time
 You were my favorite love song.

You were my heart beat, my laughter,
 my love, my happy-ever-after.
I painted my heart upon my sleeve
And never imagined you would leave.

But something I will never understand
Tore the bottom from all we planned.
Love turned to hate, and hate to death.
The death of a love we said was forever.
Te adora semper et semper...

I have hated you,
I have loved you,
I have wished you the worst
And prayed for the best.

It hurts to remember all that we lost
The beauty, the love, the years it has cost.
To hold onto my anger
and give into my heart.

Where does love go when lovers do part?
It's buried down deep
Beneath all the pain
Never to speak of or remember again.

But I hear a voice whispering to me
Let me show you the Way
To open the door
To set your heart free.

Forgive him, forgive him, forgive him again.
Seventy times seven is just to begin.
That's impossible I argue,
You don't know what You've asked.

I know that it hurts, He answered my heart
For your freedom and his, they ripped Me apart.
I purchased forgiveness for you and for him
You cannot receive it and refuse to forgive.

Give this to Me, I'll take it forever
You cannot love Me and hold on to this too.
I understand what you've been through.
I suffered with you.

I'll teach you the meaning of love that is true
Follow Me.
Lay down your heart on the altar for Me.
And I will be faithful
to love you forever.

Te adora semper et semper...









Note:  A poem about the breaking that happens when we Follow Jesus.  Especially, in the command to forgive when the pain is great, the wounds are deep and seem to be unforgivable.  I am always amazed at those who dismiss the Bible, as if it is irrelevant in today's world.  Looking at this subject alone, tells me how relevant it is to my life and yours.
I cannot follow His commands on my own - can you?
It is only by His grace and His mercy that I am able to stand at all, on the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Without it, I would never obey a single thing He calls me to.
With it, that is a different story altogether...

Wishing you the grace of God to follow Him wherever He leads...

Inconsolable...

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. 

There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, 

for the old order of things has passed away."

Revelation: 21:4

The God of Every Grief…

My heart stopped beating yesterday

So why does the earth still spin today?

I don’t want to eat, or laugh or play.

Somebody rock me, hold me, take the pain away.

Why doesn’t the sun stop shining for you

The way it has for me?

Why is everyone still smiling

Pretending they don’t see?

Why are the moon and the stars

Still dancing in the sky?

Aren't they brokenhearted

Knowing you have died?

Loving you and losing you

Has left its mark on me.

A stranger in a foreign land

Is what I seem to be.

I sought to be comforted

And couldn’t find relief

Until I poured my heart out

To the God of Every Grief.

He sat with me, He wept with me.

 He joined me in my pain.

He smiled at me that tender smile,

And called me by my name.

He doesn’t need me to pretend

As many others do.

In His love and kindness to me,

In the depth of my grief, I knew.

Grief is an ache all over

That only God can heal.

He gently took my mask away

And allowed me to be real.

 He stepped into the mine field 
Exploding with my grief,

He cradled my face to look in His
 To find such sweet relief.

 I want to believe His promise
 To wipe away every tear.

Oh, Jesus, help me trust You
 When you whisper "do not fear…"

Until the day I see your face again,

I have decided to entrust you
To the One Who promises to keep us all, 

To hold us 'til the end.

Until that day, 
My dearest dear,
 I trust you 
To my Friend…

Note:  This is an original piece written by me in memory of my dear brother, Pat, who went home to be with the Lord recently.  Lovingly dedicated to Pat, and to all those whose hearts are broken by the loss of a loved one.  He will wipe away every tear...

There is a River...

"He who believes in Me,
Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water..."
John 7:38

I sat me down and talked with me

I told me everything that needed to be said

I forgot to even go to bed!

I wanted to say the important things

The things that no one else has said,

About the world this Christmas time.

What is good and right and fine.

Under all the silly things,

Even the brutal, ugly things,

There’s a river of kindness

That flows for me, for you,

For all of us that need to know.

There’s a river of kindness that washes me

That satisfies my thirsty soul.

I just want to put a toe in the water

And see how it feels,

To wash away all my sin and my fears.

I so want to go deeper

In this river of love.

I want to know where it comes from

And where does it go?

I want to jump in with never a care

And let it cover my feet to my hair!

I just want to swim in it up to my ears

I want it to wash away all of my tears.

River of kindness, of extravagant love

Wash me all over with Grace from above.

Make me all over this Christmas Day.

God of the River of Kindness and Love,

Come to me, stay with me,

Always, I pray...

God of Everything...

Amazing Grace...

Are you the God of everything?

Or just the big important things?

Do you care when nothing goes right for me,

When I feel alone and no one sees?

Do you hear me when I curse and scream

Not caring what you think of me?

Do you turn away and shake your head

And wish that you could just forget

My name, my face, my everything?

Or do you know me inside out and upside down

Dressed in rags or in a crown?

Do you have your regrets

And I am one of them?

Or do you stoop to pick me up

And carry me when I can’t take another step?

Are you the One I’m looking for

When I have gone to bed and locked the door?

When I have given up on life

And want to die.

Are you the One who calls my name

Are you the One who takes my hand?

Are you the One I can’t forget

Are you the One whose voice I hear

Speaking my name, calling to me

With love that melts away my fear?

Are you the One who understands

What no one knows or even cares?

Are you the One

Who cries with me

When life no longer makes any sense?

When the price I paid
 Is much too much

When I no longer feel your touch?

They stole all that mattered to me today

And murdered my heart for all to see.

They laughed and laughed and laughed at me

Like so much garbage, they hated me.

Or was it you?

Are you the One they hate to see?

Are you the One,

Who won’t let go?

Who loves me when I don't love you

And forgives the unforgiveable.

I don’t understand you.

I only know

I need you, Lord

I need you now.

I need to know that you are there

When life is black and so unfair

I need to know that you won’t leave

When I lock the door and bury the key.

When life overcomes me

With grief I can’t bear

I just need to know

That you’re still there…

Note: 

This is a poem for all who are hurting tonight and for whom the light seems to have gone out. Especially for the parents of James Foley and Steven Sotloff.  And all who have lost children who have been taken too soon and for whom the pain is too much to bear.  May God comfort you and draw you very close and may you feel His love all over you...

Catching Fireflies in a Jar...

Let your little light shine...

Remember when we chased the pretty little dancing bugs
With flashlights on their backsides?! 

Remember how we giggled and ran to catch them
When they lit up the evening sky?

Remember how we took them prisoners
And kept them in a jar?

When I look back with grown-up eyes,
I wonder at the fireflies I captured in a jar.

Are you one of my fireflies, lighting up the sky?

Did you fly by me on a dark and starless night?

Did you land upon my finger and twinkle all your light?

Did you call your firefly buddies to dance and twist and shout?

Did you give up your life for me, to be my little beauty

When all the stars went out?

Without your light you are just a dreary little bug,

No-one would even notice, no one would ever hug.

Without the flashing light you carry on your back,
We’d never care to hunt you down and put you in our sack.

It’s the light, it’s the light, the beautiful, magical, light!
Where did you get that beauty, it’s such a lovely sight!

The dance I dance and the light I light,
In the starless sky, on the blackest night,


Is a love note from my Creator, sent especially to you,
To remind you that He’s always there,


When all the stars go out…

Everything that has Breath...

"Let everything that has breath
Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!
Psalm 150:6
NKJV
 

(This is a reprint of a favorite poem from 2011!) 

"Everyday Praises"

 

 



In McDonald's

and in the park

In the morning

and in the dark.

In the hospital

and in the store

In the needy

and in the more.

In the sunshine

and in the rain

In the laughter

and in the pain.

For snowflakes

and rainbows

For fingers

and toes.

For gardens

and beaches

For Whip Cream

and peaches.

For family and friends

For tears that are shed

For getting up mornings

and goings to bed.

For saying I'm sorry

and hearing it too

For friendships I treasure

and those I adieu!

For grace to forgive

And receive it as well

For ears that are tickled

With stories I tell.

For seasons that change

And things that do not

For wisdom to seek You

In spite of the what.

For questions I ask

And the answers You give

For prayers that are prayed

Every moment I live.

For the millions of ways

You have shown me Your love

You have covered me

Over with gifts from above.

For babies

I bounced upon my knee

For the beautiful world

You have given for free.

Like a Father who loves me

You dote on your child

I see You all over

In tears and in smiles.

Amazed by Your grace

I'm in love with Your face

You are the wonder

of all that I see.

For the heaven You purchased

With the blood of the Lamb

For everything, Father,

I thank you. Amen!

 

Bend Low, My Little Sparrow...

“God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.
Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God,
That He may exalt you in due time,
Casting all your cares upon Him,
For He cares for you…”
1 Peter 5-7
NKJV



I am the Mighty Sparrow
Across the skies, I soar!
I greet the morning sunlight!
I open heaven’s door!

Gorgeous velvet brown and silken gray,
I’m beautiful, I know it, and I’m not afraid to say,
My beauty is spectacular, the envy of the day!
I am the very image of what beauty ought to be!
All the other birds I know wish they looked like me!

The biggest, plumpest worms are mine!
They crawl up to my royal seat upon the highest tree.
I love to see them wiggle their boneless little spines
And beg that they might be,
The one I choose for breakfast, for dinner or for tea!

I lived next door to a Cardinal once, poor ugly bird was he.
He was best friends with a Blue Jay and I am sad to say,
They hated who they were because they weren’t me!
When will all the other birds get it through their heads?
I am the best, the best there is, there is no one like me!

I laugh at the pathetic Peacock,
Feathers spread behind him, he’s strutting up and down.
He bears a striking image to a garish circus clown!
Join me in my laughter, come along with me!
You can be in my circle of those who worship me!

Please join me in my circle. It will just be you and me.
It’s just me surrounded by my mirrors, so I can check on me.
I don’t know why the other birds avoid me like they do.
I don’t know why they fly away. I don’t know why, do you?
Won’t you tell me what I’m doing wrong? Tell me, tell me true.

Can I tell you a secret?
Do you promise you won’t tell?
Sometimes I am so all alone,
I think that I’m in hell.

When I was just a baby bird, beneath my mother’s wing,
She loved to pull me close to her
And in my little baby ears, a lullaby she’d sing.
I can still hear her sweet, sweet voice
Singing over me...

Stay close to your Father, my baby, my love,
And always sing your song to Him, my little turtle dove,
Little bird, I love you,
and I thank the God who made you, and put you in my nest,
To be my little chickadee, nothing more and nothing less.

She said the Father fashioned me to be a little bird.
To sing the song He gave to me that no one has ever heard.
I am having trouble remembering the words and melody.
I haven’t sung to the Father in so long,
Will He remember me?

I think I’ve lost my way.  I think that I have sinned. 
Do you think that He'll forgive me?
Do you think He'll let me in?
But, I hear my mother’s tender song, singing over me.
“Bend low, my little sparrow.
You’ll find Him on your knees… “ 


 

 

For Meghan...

This is a little poem I wrote for my sister Terry's daughter, Meghan, when she turned 18 a few years ago.  One of my favorite memories of Meggy, when she was a little tot, is that she could not pronounce my name "Maureen".  So, she made up her own interpretation of my name and called me "Auntie Dweem"!  

No-one has ever called me anything sweeter...!

Little Girl Shoes

I sat across the room tonight 

And had a chat with God 

He hugged me close and laughed with me 

And asked me to come closer.

I pulled my chair up next to His

And told Him about YOU

She’s turning 18 today, I said

I can’t believe it – can You?

He threw His head back and laughed with me

Yes, He said, I DO!

I have a plan for her you know

And this is part of that…

But, Lord, you see

It was only yesterday

She sat upon my knee

In little girl shoes

And little girl dresses

And called me

Auntie Dweem!

Why, I remember holding her

When she was only three

How did this happen so swiftly,

How did I not see?

I carried on like that,

As I so often do,

And God our Father understood,

For, He remembered too.

Together we remembered,

The baby that you were –

The toddler, the little girl,

the teeny bopper, too.

Running, dancing, laughing,

So precious to us all.

You are a miracle of promise

That God has loaned to us…

Today we celebrate with you

The woman you’ve become

and

Ask the Lord of Miracles

To keep you from all harm.

Written with love for you dear Meghan, 

on the occasion of your 18^th birthday.

All My Love,

Aunt Maureen 

"Them"

"Lord, when did we see You hungry
or thirsty
or a stranger...
and did not minister to You?"
Matthew 25:44

They are everywhere these days,

Begging on every street corner.

Waiting for a handout, they seem to have no shame.

I always wonder when I see them,

Why can't they get a job?

I work for my money

I earned it all myself,

I never took a handout

I always “helped” myself.

Thank God I'm not like them.

On my way to work today

He asked me for a dollar.

I looked him over carefully

To see if he was worthy

To see if I should bother...

He failed to meet my measure,

He just looked so lazy, so worthless,

So far from where I knew that he should be.

Nickels in my pocket, beside the bills I treasure.

I threw them in his bucket, and saved the rest for me.

I saw another one rolling down the street

In the dead of winter, sandals on her feet.

I hesitated when I saw her,

In a moment's weakness, I stopped and gave her thought.

I had to shake myself to wake me up and remember what I was taught.

There are places for these people,

There are places they can go.

There are places that are good enough.

Places they can take a shower, once a week, or so.

Places that are meant for them, but not for you or me.

I do wish they all would go there,

So we didn't have to see

Their empty eyes,

Their filthy clothes,

The terror on their faces.

Life is what you make of it, that's what I always say.

God helps those who help themselves.

I read it in the bible, just the other day...

Or did I make that up myself?

Oh, well, you catch my drift...

Something happened to me suddenly,

I didn't have a choice.

They fired me, they let me go,

They cancelled out my voice.

I lost my job, my car.

Today I was evicted.

They say that it's the economy.

It's really not my fault.

Everyone is hurting.

But, its the first time I ever found myself

On the other side of certain...

I haven't had a bath in days,

The stench of shame encircles me,

It follows me everywhere.

I know there are places I could go

But, that's for “them” you know.

Not for me, not for me,

Oh, please tell me I'm not like them.

Please tell me that I'm better,

I'm not like all the rest...

Tell me, when you look at me, 
You see the very best...

I'm not like “them”, 
I'm not like them,

I cried in my despair.

I looked in the mirror and saw “them” standing there.

In a broken voice I whispered out a prayer.

Dear God, forgive me

For my cold, indifferent heart.

Forgive me, Lord, forgive me,

Oh, give me eyes to see,

My desperate, needy brother

Is just the same as me...