Love Song to the Gardener...

I'd rather be in the Garden of the Lord
Than in the palace of a king...

 

 

 

He carried me so tenderly and covered me over with rich dark soil,

When I was just a tiny seed.

He planted me deep in the garden surrounded by rocks and thistles

That mocked my every need

Or, at least, that’s what I believed…

I heard His footsteps in the garden growing fainter and fainter.

He was leaving me all alone –

He didn’t stop.

He didn’t care what happened to me.

Or, at least that’s what I believed…

The only life I saw were ugly, broken weeds

Sprouting all around me.

No beauty.

No joy.

No life was in the air around me.

Or, at least, that’s what I believed…

Endlessly, it rained and rained.

I never saw the sunshine.

I never saw a flower.

I called to Him to save me.

But, against this cruelty,

He had no power.

Or, at least, that’s what I believed.

I wept at least as many tears

As raindrops fell upon my fears.

All for what? I didn’t know.

I decided I should just let go.

What was the use in holding on?

He must not love me, or so it seemed.

Or, at least, that’s what I believed.

Strangers came and stomped on me.

They mocked and laughed and jeered at me.

Down in the heart of my tiny seed,

They broke me down and made me bleed.

Left alone to face this mess,

I hated Him, I must confess.

Or, at least, that’s what I believed.

But, He who loved me had buried me deep,

 

Deep

     down

          deep,

He had buried me,

In the rich dark soil of His love.

He had promised He would come for me.

When all seemed dark and dry and dead,

He was still strolling through the flower beds

Or, at least, that’s what I came to see…

I, no longer hoping, no longer strong,

I heard Him walking on the dawn.

He lifted my head to see His face,

He smiled His Glory all over the place.

I never ever doubted His love for me...

Or, at least, that’s what I came to see!

The storms brought the rain that I needed to grow.

The weeds made me fight for the chance to have life.

The stones and the rocks made me sink in the mud,

Where the rich, velvet soil caressed me with love.

He used it all to shape me and form me to be,

A tiny reflection of the One who made me.

I don’t know the answer to all of the whys.

I only know darkness is broken by Light.

I learned to be gentle toward those who are broken,

To reach out in tenderness for those who are lost.

To leave it to Him what I don’t understand.

To trust Him who holds me in the palm of His hand.

To hold on to the One who holds on to me.

Or, at least, that’s what I’ve come to believe…

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“Then He who sat on the throne said,

Behold, I make all things new…”

   Revelation 21:5  NKJV

 

I Have You...

..."Even if I go through
the deepest, darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
For YOU are with me...
Psalm 23:4

Mother's Day.  Serving cupcakes and ice-cream-sundays to mothers in their eighties and nineties.  Some in wheel chairs, some blind, some deaf, some confused and losing their way mentally.  I had invited a new-found friend, an excellent speaker, a sister-in-Christ, to come and share her testimony with this little rag-tag group of ladies that had gathered around the ice-cream and cake to celebrate the blessing of motherhood.  My friend is a mother of several children, now grown, and of one who went to be with the Lord at the tender age of fourteen.  She has an amazing story...

Tanya (not her real name) lost her son to gang members who showed up on the playground where he was playing basketball and shot at random into the crowd of young boys shooting hoops that day.  When they were finished, her son was lying on the ground with a bullet in his head.  He died on the way to the hospital.  She never even got to say good-bye. 

For any mother, this is the ultimate loss.  Tanya is no exception.  As she shared with us the pain of that moment, over twenty years ago, she struggled to keep back the tears even now.  There really are no words to comfort a mother who experiences this kind of a tragedy.  But, I had asked Tanya to share with us because of the uncommon grace that oozes from the pores of this beautiful woman whose faith has deepened and flourished, not only in spite of this loss, but, even, because of it. 

Listening to her testimony of God's care for her during the most horrible time she ever lived through, she told us of the tender moments when Jesus drew very close to this grieving mother and reassured her of His unfathomable love for her as she said goodbye to the son she loved.

In the depth of her agony to release her son into the hands of God, this woman of faith was torn between her love for her son and the knowledge that he had gone home to be with His Savior.  She knew that of a certainty - she did not doubt it.  But, that didn't make the lettting go any easier, of course.  Right in the middle of the depth of that struggle, she heard the voice of Jesus calling her, loving her, comforting her.  "I have you, Tanya.  I have you..." 

There are many other things she shared with us about this trial in her life.  But, for now, that is all I want to leave you with.  Whatever you are going through today, no matter the tragedy or the trial, listen for the voice of your Savior calling to you, comforting you, loving you through it all.  No matter what it is you have been asked to face that seems impossible, hold on to Jesus.  Just remember that it is the same Savior that spoke to my friend that is reassuring you today.  He is saying over and over again, "I have you...  I have you..."  Jesus Christ has you.  No matter, what, He has you.  And He will bring you all the way home...

Through It All...

I have learned to depend upon the Lord...

The cold wind was blowing through my bones today.  I could feel winter moving in for a long overnight stay, welcome or not.  I went to the park to write for a while.  It is one of my favorite places to write, to think, to commune with the Lord.  I scribbled for a little while, but gave up finally.  I wanted to drink in the evening as the sun was disappearing for another day.  There is something about beginnings and endings that are so enticing to me.  I love the sweetness of the morning sunrise, and the beckoning home of the evening sunset.  I am drawn to look up and consider the things of God.  I need to spend some time alone with Him.  I am longing for His presence.  

So many thoughts were running through my mind.  Next week is Thanksgiving already. I love this holiday.  As I have watched friend after friend daily announce some other thing they are thankful for, I was drawn back in time to count the things, great and small, that the Lord God has done for me.  The list is endless.  Everything I have that is worth having is from Him.  For all of it, I am truly thankful.  

In the midst of my remembering, I "happened" to hear the beautiful old hymn I have attached below. I qualify that because I don't believe it was just by happenstance.  I believe God was whispering to me as if to say "Have you considered this...?"  And so I leaned in a little closer to hear what He wanted to speak into my heart.

In the morning, I had felt so hungry for God to speak to me.  I was longing for Him as surely as a lover longs for the beloved.  I was missing my God.  Here, in this beautiful old hymn, I heard the God of the universe step into my world to answer my morning prayer.  

My heart was moved by the tenderness of His message to me.  This song reminded me that He has been with me "through it all..."    The pains, the sorrows, the trials, the tears, the fears, the moments of unspeakable joy and the moments of despair - my God has seen it all.  He has laughed with me, wept with me, held onto me in moments when everyone else had long departed.  He held onto me in the ugliest times of my life when nobody else was there.  He carried me through every trial - every loss - every grief that threatened to destroy me.  He was there.  He loved me through it all.  

Ironically, it isn't the joyous moments - the flying high moments - the kiss the sky moments - that I thank Him for today.  It is the so low I thought I'd never survive moments for which I am most thankful.  Because He was there. He met me in the pit of my despair.  He was waiting for me "at the end of myself."  He never gave up on me.  He loved me no matter the sin.  He loved me no matter the distance He had to go to find me.  He loved me when I didn't love myself.  Through it all - through it all -  I have learned to depend upon the Lord...

For all Your many, many gifts to me, Lord God, I thank you most for this...

                          

Butterflies All are We!

:

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.
Plans for peace and not for evil,
to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29:11
NKJV

One of the most delicate and magical creations of the Creator is His little fluttering butterfly! Each one hand painted by the Master Artist of all creation, they are like little showcases of His beauty flitting in and out all around us.  

"Now to Him who is able...

The image of transformation, it is amazing to consider what becomes of the little, lowly caterpillar which starts its life crawling in the dirt, only to be elevated to star status by the Creator Himself.  Do you suppose when the caterpillar is crawling around on all fours (or 27s - or however many legs they have!) that he ever imagines what he was really created to be?  Do you suppose he says to himself, "Someday, I will be the envy of all who see me flying from flower to flower!"  Do you suppose he ever hopes he will be anything more than a lowly little insect that can be stomped out at the whim of a child?  Do you suppose that God whispers in his little tiny antenna ears - "You know, I have plans for you that you know nothing about!"  Do you suppose He tells him with excitement all He has planned for him, but the little hopeless, dirt bound caterpillar ignores what he hears and settles into his dreary life with no vision of what might be?  Do you suppose he tells all of his caterpillar brothers and sisters, "Don't listen to that.  This is all there is..."

to do exceedingly, abundantly...

I wonder if he was given the choice of crawling in the dirt or flying on the wind what he would choose.  After all, it's pretty risky to reach for something better!  

 above all that we ask or think...

Life in that cocoon looks pretty scary... It's dark and lonely in there!  Once inside, he might be wondering what's happening to him - why is he there, all alone and not sure if he will ever break out.  And if he does, what will his life be like on the other side of this trial?  Will it all be for nothing?  Poor little caterpillar.  He has to trust that Someone knows more about his little bug life than he does.  He has to trust that Someone is working in Him "more than he could ever ask or imagine..."  He has to fight to hang on until he breaks through...

According to the power that works in us..."
Ephesians 3:20
NKJV

Aaaaah, but, when he does...  He is something beautiful to see!  Why, he doesn't even recognize himself!  Who is He?  Not the little crawly bug, scrounging in the dirt, afraid to even imagine something better.  No, no, no!  He is an absolute masterpiece, witness to the power of our Transforming God.  A teeny, tiny, masterpiece, transformed by the power of the Creator into something beautiful, even magical!  I can almost hear him laughing to himself as he flits from flower to flower.  "Look at me, look at me!  Look at beautiful me!  I never knew how wonderful my life could be!  But then, He touched me!  He touched me, and made me whole..."

That's us - you and me!  On our way to becoming butterflies all are we!  Hang on.  He is making us into something beautiful!

Broken Pieces

Do you love new beginnings as much as I do?  I get very excited at the thought of a new venture, and a new year always brings hopes and dreams for good things to come.  It's wonderful to have a chance to start again, isn't it?  Last year is in the history books and some of us are very glad, indeed.  We might think it was a terrible year.  But, as so often happens, give it a little time and we might just find ourselves thinking of it as "the good old days!"


As the year drew to a close, I found myself dealing with situations and some trials, I hadn't wished for - how about you?  In my case, I somehow managed to tear a meniscus in my knee which left me suddenly out of a job, walking with a cane, unable to drive, walk or stand for long, and in a good deal of pain!  Reminder to self.  Do not EVER do this again!


February 1st is the scheduled date of surgery to repair this little irritation, and I cannot wait!  Amazing how a little "mishap" like this can change a person's life!  The temporary losses that went along with this injury tempted me to spend endless hours bemoaning my fate.  How could this happen to me?  Why did this happen to me?  Will anything good ever happen again?!  Did anything good happened at all in 2011? Yes, I am often given to melodrama and can easily get the needle stuck on the 'poor, poor me' image constantly dancing in my head.  Pain and suffering can do that to me - I know you probably don't have that problem, but, alas, I am very inclined in that direction!


I say all that to say this.  In the end, as I looked back over the year that was leaving us, I realized I would have to deliberately, intentionally, look beyond the circumstances of my pain and misfortune, to search out the blessings of the year.  Were there any?  Did they equal the negative side of the ledger, since I was tempted to only track my many trials and tribulations in 2011?  I seriously doubted it, but I was willing to take a passing stab at the possibility that, maybe, just maybe, the Lord had thrown a few blessings my way that I might have overlooked!  


This was the turning point - once I sat me down and gave me a little talking to (it was difficult, but I did it!) the blessings I began to recall so far outweighed the trials that I was amazed at the goodness of God!  I awakened from my pity induced slumber to realize, had I not followed the prompting of the Holy Spirit to LOOK FOR THE BLESSINGS, I would never have seen them!  Lesson learned - look beyond the trial.  There are blessings in the broken pieces of our lives.  Too many to count.  Too many to forget.  Too many to fail to thank Him for today.


I don't know what's ahead in 2012, anymore than you do, of course.  But, my prayer for you (and me!) is that, should we find ourselves broken by life's circumstances in the coming year, we will lean into the Lord, and ask Him to take us by the hand and walk with us through it all.  Here's a beautiful old song, written by one of my Daddy's favorites, Tommy Dorsey.  This song was written after he had suffered the tragic loss of his young wife and baby in child birth.  Out of those "broken pieces" came this beautiful song that has been a blessing to countless numbers of people over the years.  May we never forget to look inside the trials life brings our way and find the blessings.  And thank Him for it all...

P.S.  I would so much appreciate your prayers for successful surgery and a full recovery in the 
coming year.  I thank you and, trust me, my children will thank you more than you can even imagine! :)

Blessings...

"Have you considered My servant, Job," God asked Satan one day. What an incredible thing that God would say this about any human being. Yet, there He was staring Satan down, and confidently bragging on this man, Job.

I picture Satan sauntering into the throne room of heaven, walking right up to the Lord and pointing his long, boney finger right in the face of God. The mocker accuses God of having no real friends – just pretenders – hangers on who use God for what they can get from Him, period. No real affection or devotion or loyalty. Just Users, eternally manipulating God for what they can get from Him.

Says Satan to God: "You have to be kidding! There is not one of them that loves you – not one. I can prove it. Watch me...” Knowing the truth and speaking it to Satan, God responds with the amazing and heart rending statement – "Have you considered My servant, Job?"

Poor Job had no idea what was happening in the spiritual realm. He wasn't part of the conversation that took place that day that was destined to be a life changing marker for Job and his family. Neither did Job know the tender pride that God held in His heart for His servant, Job. Job would endure countless hours of heartache and loss, even coming to the brink of despair, at the hands of His tormentor, Satan, the liar, the thief, the destroyer, the mocker of God. Job did not know that, while God had allowed the testing of Job, God Himself was counting on, confident of, and pulling for, the overcoming strength of Job's love for Him. God, in an incredible switching of the tables with his creation, put His money on Job. He believed in Job. He knew that the depth of Job's love for Him would be tested to the brink.

Job loses everything. Beloved children, all of his wealth and livelihood, his health and his reputation. His best friends, coming to comfort him in his pain, turn on him and decide he must be a great sinner to have brought all of this on himself. You can hear the tempter's voice as Job's wife advises him to 'curse God and die.' The beautiful, loving testimony of Job to his wife is heartbreaking - “But, he said to her, 'You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we not indeed accept good from God, and shall we not also accept adversity​? In all of this, Job did not sin with his lips.” Job 2:10

What an incredible testimony to Job's relationship with His God. He is miserable, hanging on by a thread, abandoned by everyone he might have turned to for help, and yet he stands fast in his devotion to His God. Even later in the story, when Job cries out to God, demanding an explanation of it all, God comes to him and soundly rebukes Job. What does Job do? He repents! He falls on his knees and declares that he didn't know what he was talking about. He had “heard about God,” but, now, he had seen him and he was undone. God receives Job's repentance and restores all he has lost many times over. He turns his wrath on Job's friends, telling them that He is not pleased with them for “You have not spoken right of me, as did My servant, Job.”Job 42:7  God humbles Job's friends, ordering them to seek Job's prayers, which find favor with God because of his unfailing love for His Redeemer, again referring to Job as “My servant, Job”. How incredible this is to me. I wonder how God refers to me? Is He certain of my love for Him? Does He call me 'His servant'?

Do you sometimes wonder, as I do, would God hold me up to brag upon in front of Satan? Does He have confidence in the depth of my love for Him? I wonder, would He have to make excuses to Satan for me? Would He tell Satan, “Well, yes she loves Me, but, you know it's Christmas. Don't mess with her now - She's shopping!” Or, “Well, yes, she loves Me, but, she lives in America. We have to make allowances for them. They're just not very good at this suffering thing..."

When I'm going through a trial, am I closer to Job's wife, or to Job in his all out love for His God? When the 'good things' that God has given me are withdrawn – family, health, the trappings of wealth in our culture, I am so often tempted to 'curse God' for what He has done to me.

How revealing are our prayers sometimes! So often, in America, we look at life through the lens of material things. Our prayers are often, Lord, please keep me healthy, my children safe and happy, be sure to give me a good job, a good home and money for a nice vacation. I so much NEED all of this, Lord. Oh, yes, and thank you for Jesus. Amen! Sometimes, God must wonder if we have him mixed up with Santa Claus.

What happens if I lose my job, my house, my loved one develops a terminal illness – or worse, yet, I do? Do I wonder, in the pain of my loss, why has God withdrawn His favor from my life? If we could peel back the curtain of heaven, what would we find? Is God watching, pointing to us with obvious pride and confidently telling Satan, "Have you considered My servant ….?"  What if He has a blessing in store for us at the end of the trial that can only come to us by going through the fire? Why do we judge God's blessings to only come in soft, pretty packages? What if the real blessing is in the trial?

Scripture Reference: Job 19:25, 26

“For I know that my Redeemer lives,

And He shall stand at last on the earth;

And after my skin is destroyed, this I know,

That in my flesh, I shall see God...”