Springs of Living Water...

gushing out of you...

When I was a little girl, my favorite aunt came to visit from New York.  There just wasn't much of anything that happened in my family that surpassed the excitement of a visit from my Aunt Helen. I could tell you a lot about her, but, one of the things I remember most about her visits was the time my mom and dad took her "downtown" to see what they considered to be one of the seven wonders of the world, right there in our own home town of Chicago!  After all, she lived in New York, and don't you know we were always trying to "one up" New York! 

As I remember it, we all piled into our old jalopy to drive downtown to see Buckingham Palace - I mean Buckingham Fountain!  I was quite young though, and I was sure we were going to see Buckingham Palace - right there in our very own Chicago!  Surely, New York didn't have anything that even came close to that!  Imagine my surprise when I discovered it was just a water fountain! Granted it was a rather spectacular water fountain, but, it was "just" a water fountain.  Water was squirting out miles high from many different portals, all bathed in multi-colored lights that made it even more lovely to watch.  I sat in silence trying in my little girl head to figure out how that water was squirting everywhere from some mysterious place within.  How does one make water flow like that?  What's the secret?!

That is one of the pictures I have when I think of what Jesus promised us in the scripture quoted above.  That is quite a promise.  If you have ever had the experience of running or hiking a long distance without readily available water, you know that feeling of being desperate for a drink.  Our bodies are made to be hydrated.  We can't go for long without the simple, God given gift of water.  I remember hiking a long distance, running out of water.  By the time I got home to refresh my body, I was physically shaking all over, becoming disoriented and almost too weak to turn the faucet to get the liquid that, to me, was now more precious than gold.  

The truth is, I have often been dry and desperately thirsty.  Grieving a loss of someone or something I love with all my heart, leaves me parched, weak, trembling and disoriented.  I struggle to know who I am in God's world.  Does He still care for me?  If He does, why is He doing this to me?  Doesn't He know how devastated I am by this loss?  Doesn't He know, I am lost without my loved one or the dream I have clung to for so long?  What is He doing to me?  Why is He doing it? Does He see me?  Does He see my broken heart?  Does He see I am D E V A S T A T E D?

This is grief pouring out of our hearts.  We are confused by it, disoriented by it, devastated by it, angry about our loss, struggling to pick up the pieces to even want to go on.  I believe it is important to pour out our hearts before God - tell Him everything we are feeling - He can handle it because He does so love us, He wants us to come to Him, not just with our highs, but when we are at the bottom of the pit, also.  He will meet us there.

The link I am including in this post is a short story of a young couple who went through the tragedy of losing their beautiful four year old daughter in a car accident - every parent's worst nightmare. The dad is a pastor.  It's so important to realize that, just because a man or a woman is following Christ, even in pastoral ministry, they are not exempt from the suffering of the rest of the human race.  This man tells his story honestly - his rage at God for taking his baby.  His wife tells her story of the pain she went through - in a different way, but, just as real.  We grieve differently, don't we?   And that is okay with God...

The story of their pain and their loss ends with the promise that He will make streams of Living Water flow out of us from within - He will turn our mourning into dancing - He will restore to us everything the enemy has stolen... In my own struggle with grief, that is not something I ever wanted to hear, and didn't always believe.  But, I offer this to you who are grieving whatever you have lost, because I have learned that He makes good on His promises.  They are not frivolous, empty words.  They are the promises of our Good and Faithful God.  

Tuck this promise of God in a corner of your heart and let Him work it down deep within your spirit.  Watch and see, He will make springs of living water flow out of that very same heart that is broken right now.  You are in my prayers, always.  May God, our loving and gracious Father, heal you through and through...

  

https://www.idisciple.org/makiah-king

I Called On Your Name, O Lord...

"From the lowest pit
You have heard my voice.
Do not hide your ear
From my sighing, from my cry for help."
You drew near on the day I called on You,
And said, "Do not fear!"


Love Letter to my Grieving Friends, Sisters and Brothers in Christ, in America and overseas...

It is a heartbreaking reality today that the enemy is running wild and persecuting, torturing and murdering innocent men, women and children all over the world.  Surrounding us daily are the horrific images of women being burned alive in a cage, for the concocted sin of refusing to be sex slaves to their captors.  It is worth noting that these poor victims of their lunatic captors were murdered in front of spectators, including their helpless husbands and children.  On another front, we watch in horror a parade of young men, chained to each other, unable to defend themselves, as their psychotic captors murder them one by one, These were young men, full of life and love for their wives and families.  And, for Jesus Christ, for whom they gave their lives. What can we say of the innocent little children buried alive, decapitated, or used for the sexual pleasure of their pedophile masters?  The inhumanity and cruelty of these mad men defies description. 

Today, I awakened to the news that fifty men were murdered in a nightclub, with another fifty who are fighting for their lives.  The shooter was an admirer of ISIS, who hated gays and took it upon himself to end their lives.  Whatever their life style, these were men whose lives belong to God. This is said to be the biggest mass murder in America since 911.  Many predict there will be more to follow, since ISIS has invaded our shores.

We watch in horror as these unspeakable crimes against humanity unfold.  It seems as if history is replaying itself, taking a page from the brutal persecution of the Jews in the Holocaust over 70 years ago.  How can this be happening in our "modern" world, so advanced by technology and scientific achievement?  According to one headline I read today, we are witnessing the "return to the Middle Ages." As I considered all this today, I found myself searching God's Word for comfort and reassurance that He is with us.  God's Word doesn't gloss over the evil in this world.  Not hardly. No, we are repeatedly warned, we have an enemy - he is real, he is everywhere, he hates you and me and he is out for blood.  He will stop at nothing to devour you and me.

We have a powerful and evil enemy who is more and more having his way in the world around us. It is foolish to put our head in the sand, and pretend we don't see what we see.  God has given us His Word to warn us, to prepare us, to comfort and encourage us.  

My heart for you who are suffering, persecuted, tortured and brutalized by the enemy is this.  We hear you. We see your suffering.  We love you.  And even if we didn't, God, who loves you, will never abandon you in the hour of your need. The same God who wrote these words about the enemy also says this about Who it is we serve...

I wonder if the evil is growing around us, because the enemy knows his days are close to the end. God will consume him in the fire.  Whatever apparent victories he has are temporary.  We are kept in the hand of our God, no matter what it looks like.  You are precious to our Savior.  You are loved.  You are safe in His hand.  He will bring you home.  He will bring you through.  You will be as a diamond in His hand.  Please be assured of the prayers of your sisters and brothers in Christ, for your faithfulness, your protection, your victory in Christ.  You are ever in my heart and in my prayers. May God, Himself, be your Comfort and your Strength in every trial you endure...

And I'll Say of the Lord...

You are my Portion
My Deliverer
My Ever Present Help in Times of Need...

You've all heard of me, I would guess.  The story of the woman healed by Jesus from an issue of blood.  That's it in a nutshell, you know.  I was sick and He healed me.  He did that for a lot of people you know.  But, I am not a lot of people.  I'm just me.  And I want to tell you what I remember about that day.  Because, to me, it is unforgettable.

It's true that I had been sick for many years.  More years than I can remember, really.  My health had deteriorated to the point of no return.  I had been to all the experts to find a cure.  They took my money and sent me away the same way I came in - carrying my illness with me.  My illness had taken over my life.  It controlled my social life (I didn't have one).  It controlled my physical life. Bleeding for so long was literally killing me.  It would end it all for me, I figured, fairly soon.  It controlled my emotional life.  I had given up.  I was in despair.  What hope was there really, for any kind of healing?  The experts all agreed.  I was a hopeless case.  Some of them whispered that they thought I was "imbalanced".  Just a bit crazy.  I suppose that made it easier for them to write me off... 

The worst part of it all, though, was the shame.  I carried it everywhere with me.  I heard the whispers, even when there weren't any.  The voices of mockery and derision pumped through my heart as surely as did my blood.  I couldn't turn them off, I had listened to them all of my life. But, really, I knew they were true.  All I had ever heard was the voice of ridicule and shame. I know my illness was diagnosed as bleeding.  But, the bleeding on the inside was deeper and more killing than anything physical.  I was beginning to contemplate how I could end all of my pain...

Just as I began to make a plan of my own to "heal" me, once and for all, He came to town.  Isn't that strange that He showed up, just when I needed Him most?  You would almost have to say, He knew me...  

Anyway, there He was, on His way to heal someone's daughter.  He was known as the Healer.  I began to wonder if He really was.  Maybe He could...  I argued with myself, back and forth, first believing and hoping, than talking myself out of it as too much to hope for.  After all, I had been sick my entire life.  How could I expect Him to heal me, just like that?  In the end though, I felt something strange pulling me toward Him.  It felt like what I remembered from so long ago.  It felt like hope.  I don't know where it came from, except, maybe, from Him?  

Whatever, once I felt it, I couldn't contain myself.  I ran out the door and to the square where he was surrounded by people everywhere.  I wasn't supposed to be there.  I was "unclean".  I didn't want this holy man to see me or know that I was breaking the rules.  So I crept up on Him as quietly and inconspicuously as possible and just reached for the hem of his garment.  When I felt it touch my finger tips, everything changed instantly and I knew it.  I was healed!  I could barely contain myself. Everything changed!  I mean everything.  The bleeding, of course, stopped instantly.  But, even more than that, I heard His voice calling me to Him.  I saw Him look at me with those eyes that went right through me.  He knew me.  And He loved me.  I was transformed by His love for me.  I could hear His voice speaking His love to me over every other voice I had ever heard.  My heart exploded with His love.  Out of the fountain of His love, I was washed all over with crystal clear water that made me clean and alive as I had never been before.  Yes, I am that woman.  The one He healed.  The one He loves...

I want you to know, what He did for me, He will do for you.  Are you bleeding all over?  Have you been carrying your wounds around your whole life?  Have you given up?  Are you isolated and ashamed of who you are?  Jesus has come to be with you.  He wants to heal you.  He loves you.  He sees you.  He is able to do what all the experts can't.  He can wash you clean and give you the gift of life and life abundantly.  Reach out for the hem of His garment and be amazed at what He will do for you.  He has never lost sight of you. He sees you struggling.  He is strolling through town, just waiting for you to come.  What are you waiting for?  Run to Him.  He will catch you in His arms.  And you will never be the same...

On the Way, I Lost it, I Lost it...

"I have come to seek and save that which was lost..."
Matthew 18:11

A tiskit a taskit.

A green and yellow basket.

I wrote a letter to my love

And on the way I lost it.  

I lost it. 

I lost it…

I see a little girl running.

The street lights are on – it’s time to come home. 

It’s time for dinner. 

Daddy’s home.

Something smells good. 

It’s so cold outside.

Why isn’t it warm inside?

I am so hungry…

On the way, 

I lost it… 

I lost it…

Why did I run into this place, thinking it was home?

Why did I call him daddy?

I try to turn and run, but it’s too late.

I am trapped and it is all my fault… 

I never should have expected to find love here. 

I don’t know where it’s hiding, but, I can’t find it here…

On the way,

I lost it. 

I lost it…

It’s so dark. 

So cold. 

So hateful.  So killing.

I ran to him a little girl.

But, I have never seen her again...

On the way, 

I lost her 

I lost her...

Search for me O' God, and find me.  

For I am lost in the depth of my heart…

Shelter me from the harm of my pain and the fury of my anger.

Breathe on me Breath of God and fill me with new life.

Wash away the filthiness that sticks to me like tar.

Be to me the love I lost and never found.

Are You the One who looked for me?

I hid behind the door and watched You search for me.

I so hoped You would find me, hiding, wanting to be found.

You never gave up.

You called my name. 

You spied me watching You in the dark, afraid to answer. 

You ran to me.

You ran to me. 

How can it be that You wanted me? 

That You ran to me?

I once was lost

And now I’m found…

Lord, My Safe, Safe Place,

Keep me in the Shelter of Your love

Forever

70 x 7

The Impossible Commands of Jesus...


Te adora semper et semper
Is not love forever and ever?
My heart never thinks of you
 That the scars don't rip open and bleed anew.

I have hated you so long,
I have forgotten
Once upon a time
 You were my favorite love song.

You were my heart beat, my laughter,
 my love, my happy-ever-after.
I painted my heart upon my sleeve
And never imagined you would leave.

But something I will never understand
Tore the bottom from all we planned.
Love turned to hate, and hate to death.
The death of a love we said was forever.
Te adora semper et semper...

I have hated you,
I have loved you,
I have wished you the worst
And prayed for the best.

It hurts to remember all that we lost
The beauty, the love, the years it has cost.
To hold onto my anger
and give into my heart.

Where does love go when lovers do part?
It's buried down deep
Beneath all the pain
Never to speak of or remember again.

But I hear a voice whispering to me
Let me show you the Way
To open the door
To set your heart free.

Forgive him, forgive him, forgive him again.
Seventy times seven is just to begin.
That's impossible I argue,
You don't know what You've asked.

I know that it hurts, He answered my heart
For your freedom and his, they ripped Me apart.
I purchased forgiveness for you and for him
You cannot receive it and refuse to forgive.

Give this to Me, I'll take it forever
You cannot love Me and hold on to this too.
I understand what you've been through.
I suffered with you.

I'll teach you the meaning of love that is true
Follow Me.
Lay down your heart on the altar for Me.
And I will be faithful
to love you forever.

Te adora semper et semper...









Note:  A poem about the breaking that happens when we Follow Jesus.  Especially, in the command to forgive when the pain is great, the wounds are deep and seem to be unforgivable.  I am always amazed at those who dismiss the Bible, as if it is irrelevant in today's world.  Looking at this subject alone, tells me how relevant it is to my life and yours.
I cannot follow His commands on my own - can you?
It is only by His grace and His mercy that I am able to stand at all, on the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Without it, I would never obey a single thing He calls me to.
With it, that is a different story altogether...

Wishing you the grace of God to follow Him wherever He leads...

My God...

Looking back over 2015, I want to take a few minutes to bow my head to the God of All Creation, who listened to my prayers and answered them.  How amazing is that?!

All Praise and Glory be to the Name of the Lord, the God who is Faithful, the God who loves us and desires a relationship with us.  I am so grateful that, through it all this past year, the ups the downs, the good, the bad, the sweet things and the bitter, the God who loves me was in it all.

Thank You, Abba Father -

I lost my brother this year.  Letting go of someone we love hurts.  It is never easy.  I'm pretty certain that I didn't handle the moments and hours of letting go of my brother very well.  I fell into a family squabble that was pretty painful.  I struggled to grieve "appropriately".  That is a misconception, now isn't it?  Grieving is different for each of us.  For some it's short, for some it's long.  For some it's deep and cutting.  For some, we try to keep it on the surface to avoid feeling the pain too much.  But, through it all, I know that God knew what I needed and provided for me and still does.  I am not at all sure I have finished with this in my life.  I think this is some of the unfinished business that will carry over from 2015 to 2016.  The only thing I know for sure, is that I can't do this on my own.  I am constantly grabbing onto the hem of His garment, asking to be healed.  I mean, constantly...  I am so grateful that He doesn't brush me off and tell me He already handled that.  Instead, He turns around and looks for me and calls me daughter.  No matter how long my healing takes, I am grateful that He understands and loves me into complete healing...

Around the same time that I said goodbye to my brother, a sister that is very dear to me, but has been very distant, came back into my life.  We had not been close for many years.  When we began to reconstruct our relationship, I discovered she was out of work and desperately trying to find a good job.  Anyone who has looked for work these days knows how trying it can be.  This precious sister, ten years my junior, was met with rejection after rejection, to the point of deep discouragement and fear for the future.  As we talked, I began to speak to her about God's plan to give her a future and a hope.  I stepped into her life as someone who prayed God's will and plan into her life.  I prayed that she would see His hand clearly working on her behalf.  I prayed that she would not just find a job, but a really good one that would provide for her on many levels.  She had been looking for many months prior before I began praying for her, and was trying so hard not to be despondent.  She is highly educated and qualified, so that was not the issue.  But, I believe God was using this situation to show Himself to her as her Provider, her Always Faithful God.  After just a few months of praying for her, God offered her two extremely good jobs on almost the same day!  Not only was she going to have a good job, but, she was going to have a choice!

As we closed out 2015, my sister was in the second month of the job she chose.  And I?  I stand amazed at the goodness of My God, who not only loves my sister, but, went after her, sought her, and answered every prayer for her provision and care.  How good is a God who doesn't stand far away and tell us we are on our own, but, comes right into the middle of the mess we are in, dries our tears, soothes our fears, and answers every prayer over us?  Thank You, Abba Father, for what you have done for my sister.  I love you for it all...

As the summer wore on I found myself in need of new housing arrangements.  I lived in a very small apartment that I had known for awhile was not sufficient for me, for many reasons.  But the expense of moving stopped me in my tracks.  I was really torn, wanting to move, but, feeling locked in because of expenses that were beyond my reach.  In the middle of my struggling to come to terms with all of this, of course, I prayed for God's direction.  Out of the blue, one of my children who has been an incredible blessing to me, time and time again, called me and said she had received unexpected funds and wanted to send some my way to help me make the move.  I was blown away by the timing of her call, her complete selflessness on my behalf, and the extravagant generosity of my daughter and her husband.  Without her support, I would not have been able to make the move I made in November. As 2015 drew to a close, I found myself in a lovely new apartment that is truly home to me, in a way that my old place was not.  I look around and think that I must pinch myself to be sure I'm not dreaming!  How God blessed me with this lovely new home, and with the love and generosity of my sweet daughter and her husband.  God amazes me with answers to prayers I never really thought I would see....

There are many, many other blessings God has given me this past year, in answer to my prayers and to the prayers of others for me.  God is so Faithful and so full of love for each of us.  He calls me to pray, to trust Him, to bring my needs before Him, because He loves me.  Sometimes, He uses me to pray someone else into the blessing He has for them.  Sometimes, He uses someone else to do that for me.  God is not trembling on the floor of heaven hoping we don't ask Him for something He can't do. He is the Mighty King, Master of Everything, Jesus My Lord...

I thank God today for all that He has done for me in 2015.  Answered prayers, jobs to be gained, homes to be found, children to be loved, and a heaven to be won.  For all these things, and so much more, dear Lord, I thank You...

Let Love and Faithfulness...

Never leave you...

As I write this, the evening is drawing to a close on the last day of the year, 2015.  What a year it has been. Some very wonderful and some very terrible things have unfolded over the course of this past year.  The world often seems to be spinning out of control.  Unimaginable evil is broadcast all over the television screen and in the newspapers around the world.  If that is all we see, all we think about, it is impossible to have peace and not be filled with fear.  As I was thinking about all of this recently, I found the Lord turning my heart and mind to the scriptures.  In this case, the one about what we should think about!

As I turned in the direction of God's Word, I realized this was one of the strongest themes and leadings God had given to me this past year.  As I obey this simple teaching, I find myself resting in His arms and in His love.  In the picture above, the image of the little girl climbing on the gate, curious about what's on the other side, captured my attention.  I think that's how God sees me.  I am just a little girl trying to find my way, lost without His leading.  How about you...

Here are a few other lessons He has been teaching me in the School of the Lord, this past year.

He sings over me...

For a woman who has known the heartache of divorce and neglect, to even think that God, Himself, rejoices over me is an incredible picture!  I hope you will let this beautiful and glorious scripture settle into your soul.  The Lord our God is in our midst!  He wants to quiet you with His love.  He is exulting over you with loud singing!  He isn't shy about declaring His love for you and me.  He knows where we've been, what we have been through, and what it has done to us.  That doesn't stop Him in the least!  Oh, how I love this beautiful and powerful, life changing truth.  GOD LOVES YOU!  Listen for His song - He is singing it just for you!

I am not a woman who trusts easily.  But, the Lord has taken me on a journey of learning to trust Him more and more deeply, this past year.  It has taken every minute of every hour of every day to begin to break down the concrete walls I erected to protect myself, in order to begin to trust Him.  What I am probably the most amazed at is that He even cares.  That He cares for me in this way, is such a testimony of His unconditional love.  That He pursues me when I am pushing Him away, simply amazes me.  Why, Lord, do you care, is my often unspoken question.  The answer I always hear is that He loves me.  Just that.  He loves me.  How incredibly humbling...

This has been a year of discovering that God is for me, He loves me, He has met my every need and then some.  He surrounds me with His love and protection constantly.  He showers me with His affection.  He meets me where I am and calls me to rest in Him.  He gave me a job to met my needs, He has restored a long lost relationship with someone dear to me.  He has been with me through the journey of loss of my brother and a dear friend this past year.  He has led me deeper and deeper in my relationship with Him.  He is there for me when no-one else is.  He is there.  How very grateful I am for that reality in my life.

He knows me.  He knows my struggles.  He loves me anyway!  He is my Everlasting Father, my Wonderful Counselor, my Prince of Peace.  He is the God who I can't push away.  He just won't leave.  I thank Him today for His love, His mercy, His faithfulness, His tenderness, His understanding, His constant love and care.  What He is doing in my life, He will do in yours also. Look up and see your Savior.  He is in your midst...

He keeps me.  He keeps me in the morning when I don't want to get out of bed.  He keeps me in the darkness of loss and grieving when I am close to giving up.  He keeps me when I am angry and want to throw a fit.  He keeps me when He calls me to forgive what I have decided is unforgivable.  He waits for me to catch up.  He keeps me when everyone else has left.  He keeps me when the sun goes down, when the storm is raging, when fear takes over, when the enemy attacks.  He keeps me.  Or where, oh where, would I be?

There are so many other lessons He is teaching me, too many to include in this post.  I may come back to this subject again over the next year.  Mostly, though, I am humbled by His constant care for me, His patience with me, His tender leading me along, one tiny step at a time.  My prayer is that I will follow Him more closely this year, love Him more dearly and hear His voice singing His love song over me every step of the way.  May God bless you, keep you, and lead you along His path for you in the coming year.  God Bless you in 2016!

His Name is Wonderful!

Wonderful...

I am so captivated by the names of Jesus!  Here is an excerpt from one of my favorite preachers, Charles H. Spurgeon, on the subject of His name is Wonderful.  I hope it touches you as it does me.  Nothing touches me like Jesus.  His name is truly Wonderful.  For in it is the majesty, the glory, the riches of God's love poured out on us in the presence of Emmanuel. Worship Him.  He is worthy.  He is worthy.  He is worthy.

Master of everything... Jesus my Lord...

Delivered on Sabbath Morning, September 19, 1858, by the
REV. C. H. Spurgeon
at the Music Hall, Royal Surrey Gardens

"His name shall be called Wonderful."—Isaiah 9:6.

NE EVENING LAST WEEK I stood by the sea-shore when the storm was raging. The voice of the Lord was upon the waters; and who was I that I should tarry within doors, when my Master's voice was heard sounding along the water? I rose and stood to behold the flash of his lightnings, and listen to the glory of his thunders. The sea and the thunders were contesting with one another; the sea with infinite clamor striving to hush the deep-throated thunder, so that his voice should not be heard; yet over and above the roar of the billows might be heard that voice of God, as he spoke with flames of fire, and divided the way for the waters. It was a dark night, and the sky was covered with thick clouds, and scarce a star could be seen through the rifts of the tempest; but at one particular time, I noticed far away on the horizon, as if miles across the water, a bright shining, like gold. It was the moon hidden behind the clouds, so that she could not shine upon us; but she was able to send her rays down upon the waters, far away, where no cloud happened to intervene. I thought as I read this chapter last evening, that the prophet seemed to have stood in a like position, when he wrote the words of my text. All round about him were clouds of darkness; he heard prophetic thunders roaring, and he saw flashes of the lightnings of divine vengeance; clouds and darkness, for many a league, were scattered through history; but he saw far away a bright spot—one place where the clear shining came down from heaven. And he sat down, and he penned these words: "The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined;" and though he looked through whole leagues of space, where he saw the battle of the warrior "with confused noise and garments rolled in blood," yet he fixed his eye upon one bright spot in futurity, and he declared, that there he saw hope of peace, prosperity and blessedness; for said he, "Unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shad be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful."
My dear friends, we live to-day upon the verge of that bright spot. The world has been passing through these clouds of darkness, and the light is gleaming on us now, like the glintings of the first rays of morning. We are coming to a brighter day, and "at evening time it shall be light." The clouds and darkness shall be rolled up as a mantle that God needs no longer, and he shall appear in his glory, and his people shall rejoice with him. But you must mark, that all the brightness was the result of this child born, this son given, whose name is called Wonderful; and if we can discern any brightness in our own hearts, or in the world's history, it can come from nowhere else, than from the one who is called "Wonderful, Counsellor, the mighty God."
The person spoken of in our text, is undoubtedly the Lord Jesus Christ. He is a child born, with reference to his human nature; he is born of the virgin, a child. But he is a son given, with reference to his divine nature, being given as well as born. Of course. the Godhead could not be born of woman. That was from everlasting, and is to everlasting. As a child he was born, as a son he was given. "The government is upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful." Beloved, there are a thousand things in this world, that are called by names that do not belong to them; but in entering upon my text, I must announce at the very opening, that Christ is called Wonderful, because he is so. God the Father never gave his Son a name which he did not deserve. There is no panegyric here, no flattery. It is just the simple name that he deserves, they that know him best will say that the word doth not overstrain his merits, but rather falleth infinitely short of his glorious deserving. His name is called Wonderful. And mark, it does not merely say, that God has given him the name of Wonderful—though that is implied; but "his name shall be called" so. It shall be; it is at this time called Wonderful by all his believing people, and it shall be. As long as the moon endureth, there shall be found men, and angels, and glorified spirits, who shall always call him by his right name. "His name shall be called Wonderful."

Crooked Places...

Crooked Places in my heart

The stones and thorns are everywhere

They hurt me, they cut me

They own me, you know...

There is one that cuts me so deep

Each time I step on it, I weep.

It's been there forever and there it will stay

Unless, do you think there's another way?

Hoping to find the narrow way,

I heard it is the one to seek.

But mountains too high to climb

Surround my heart and laugh at me.

A mountain of anger I keep in my heart

Don't ask me why we do not part.

I planted it there so long ago

I want to leave it, but can't let go...

The stones I trip on everywhere.

They are so deep in my heart

I've lost my way.

I pick them up to throw them out

And put them back for another day.

The stones are really my pets you know

I call them by name and keep them for show.

They are really little trophies of  battles I have lost

They have no value, but oh, how much they cost.

They cost me my peace.

They cost me my joy.

They cost me all hope.

They cost me my friends.

They cost me my children.

They cost me my Savior, my Jesus, my Friend...

Oh Jesus, come, oh come to me,

Smooth out the places that keep me in chains.

I beg You Lord Jesus, remove from my heart,

The mountains that keep me from finding my way.

Level the crooked paths of my heart.

 Make my way clear, narrow and straight,

Help me prepare a place for You, Jesus.

That my heart overflows with your beauty and grace.

I love Thee Lord, Jesus,

I need you today.

I cling to You, Jesus, 

Keep me, I pray.

I am a little sheep,

Eyed by the wolves to soon be their prey.

I wander and trifle with going their way.

Keep me, oh, keep me,

Oh keep me, I pray.

You are the truth

the life

and the way.

I trust You, Lord Jesus.,

To keep me today...

My Sweet Auntie NoNo!

The dearest compliment I could ever pay you - 

When I looked in your eyes

I saw Jesus staring back at me...

Memories...

She never drove a car, never owned a home, never married, although she had one son. She stuttered when she spoke and seemed to be afraid of shadows somewhere lurking that I could not see. She was a young woman when I was a little girl, but to me, she seemed to be the oldest person I knew. She was one of my father’s four sisters who were still living. His favorite sister, Margaret, had died before I ever met her of diabetes, coupled with out of control drinking.

This sister of my father, baptized with the name Eleanor, was the only one of his sisters that I ever even came close to knowing. This is what I remember about this little jewel who touched my life briefly and then disappeared for some mysterious reason not known to me.

Auntie NoNo, as my father affectionately nicknamed her, and I, had an instant bond. I loved her kind and gentle ways, her humility and her generosity. Eleanor worked as a cleaning lady to rich people in downtown Chicago, a very common job for the daughters of Irish immigrants at that time. She traveled everywhere on public transportation and knew the city like the palm of her hand. She would come to our house on her day off with her son, my cousin Tommy. She wanted me to join them for an adventure in the city – usually some movie for kids that she thought Tommy and I would love. She hardly spoke at all really. When she did, her head would shake with tremors as she tried to utter the words that stuck in her mouth, unwilling to form the sentence she was trying desperately to speak. I am sure I stared at her, embarrassed for her, not understanding what the problem was.

Eleanor was the daughter of Irish immigrants who had not assimilated well into their new home in America. Her father, my grandfather, was also an alcoholic and, I am sure, was not the parent she needed him to be. My grandmother never spoke that I knew of – at least I never heard her, if she did. She bore the telltale markings of a woman in an abusive marriage – very withdrawn and isolated. To me, as I look back, I am amazed that my dear Aunt Eleanor was able to overcome all of this and make a life for herself and for her son.

At the time in my childhood that all of this was happening, I was probably about 5 or 6 years old, maybe a little younger. I had one sister, two years older than me, and four brothers, a twin and 3 that were younger. None of my siblings went along with Eleanor. I don’t know why she singled me out for this, but, oh, how much it meant to me. To my Auntie Eleanor, I was special. And she was special to me and always will be.

I don’t remember too much about where we went or what we did. But, I remember her coming for me, picking me up at my house to go with her on the bus or the train to “downtown”! I remember being amazed at how well she knew how to get where she was going without a car. This little lady – to me an “old woman” was in reality quite young, struggling to overcome the odds in her life that she would never make it, never be someone important, never amount to anything. Yet, she had a fierce determination to make a life for herself and for her much loved son. And, for some reason, she brought me into the circle of their love. How could I ever forget that?

Looking back, I realize now that Eleanor was one of those miracles that God used along the way to encourage me to wonder at the love that He poured out on me, through the gentle kindness of this little Godly woman who the world, for the most part, ignored and rejected. Although there were others who touched my life as a child, Eleanor was and is, one of my favorites. She was there for me. She must have known that I needed that affection from her, and so, she got on the bus, traveled across the miles to our house, spent her hard earned money on me and, very simply, without any fanfare, loved me as a mother loves her little girl. I remember feeling very safe with this dear, humble, down to earth, servant of God. Because of her, I believe that some of the dearest to God must be His servants clothed in rags, with broken speech, and shaking hands disguising a heart that overflows with His love and kindness.

Eleanor taught me that it doesn’t take a lot to make a difference in a child’s life. She taught me that, even in poverty, we can pour love out extravagantly, as a mama bird feeds her little birds in the nest, from her own mouth. She taught me that poverty doesn’t define us. Love does. She had more of that than most people many times her superior in the riches of this world.

The magical trips on the train to downtown Chicago, safe in the care of an Aunt that loved me, ended almost as quickly as they began. My mother was not fond of any of my father’s siblings and didn’t like Eleanor coming over. So, just as suddenly as her visits began, they ended. I looked for her, as children do, wondering where she had gone. It was quite a while before I realized she wasn’t coming back. It was only for a brief and lovely season. But, it was long enough to cement my love for her in my heart for a lifetime…

I will always treasure the memory of this brief episode in my childhood, touched by the beauty and the grace of God through the unlikely person of my shy and struggling Auntie NoNo. Thank you, Father, for sending me your love through Eleanor. You were all over her, Jesus. Disguised as a beggar, a cast away, a reject. I saw You. When I looked in her eyes smiling down on me, I saw You. And I have never forgotten...

Deliver us...

from evil...

Watching the funeral of Deputy Darren Goforth yesterday, I had so many conflicting feelings.

Seeing his grief stricken young widow and two young children, my heart went out to them.  A little boy, dressed in the Captain America shirt that matched the one his daddy wore under his uniform, in his casket, a teenage daughter who has lost her hero, a wife, wearing the badge of her husband over her heart, dressed in dignity and grace that stood in stark contrast to the evil that murdered her husband.  I watched with the eyes of a woman whose daddy had served as a police officer for his entire career,  Visions of my own father, a very human man, with flaws and short comings of his own, ran like a tape recording through my mind.  He was a police officer, a cop, a flatfoot, a copper, a "pig" to some.  To me, he was my father, my daddy, my hero. I believe Deputy Goforth was exactly that to his precious children, who have now been robbed of ever seeing him again, this side of heaven.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit..."
Psalm 38:18 NKJV

I have many conflicting images of my dad, as a Police Officer. Memories take me to the evening I was about ten years old, excited to be going to the carnival down the street to ride the rides, eat the cotton candy and popcorn and try my hand at the many games of chance that were smashed inside the space that was allowed for carnival goers.  My friends and I were caught up in the fun and "innocence" of the carnival when one of my friends screamed that there was a man with a gun trying to steal money from the vendors.  As my child's eyes scanned the area to see what she was talking about, my heart stopped. There, only feet away from me, was my father, gun drawn, in hot pursuit of the would be robber.  I had never witnessed my father in pursuit of a criminal.  I had seen him in uniform leaving for work.  But, I had never seen him in a confrontation with evil.  Yet, evil unmasked was running through the "party" threatening to erupt in a tragedy right before my child's eyes. Evil knows no boundaries and mocks what we hold sacred and dear.

What stopped my heart was the realization that my father was doing a dangerous job that could take his life, right in front of his children, for we were all attending the carnival and I'm sure he realized that.  A young man, well built and six feet tall, what I saw as I watched him that night I had never seen before. Fear for his life was stamped across his face. His heart was racing, he was sweating profusely, and he was shaking. His life was on the line and he knew it.  So did I.  I will never forget that sight. The man I knew and adored as my father was on the firing line of someone who would take his life in the blink of an eye.  

Why did he take those risks then and why do police officers do it today?  Pastor Ed Young, speaking at the funeral of Deputy Goforth, talked about Jesus delivering us from evil.  Describing the cloak that Jesus wore as blue, not red, he said that the priests of the Old Testament wore blue as a symbol of their call to stand against evil.  Comparing the thousands of police officers in attendance at Officer Goforth's funeral to Jesus, he said, they have been called and sent forth to stand against - to "deliver" us from evil.  

There is indeed a thin blue line that separates the good and the evil in society. Deputy Goforth was one of those who stood between you and me and the evil that is out there, which, mercifully, we seldom encounter.  That night, many years ago at the carnival, I watched my own father stand between the children and party goers and the evil that visited itself upon us that evening. As God allowed, my father gained the victory that night and went on for many years after that. Tragically, for Kathleen Goforth and her two young children, her husband did not survive his encounter with evil. May God be their refuge and their strength as they go on to live their lives without the man they knew and loved as husband and father.  Please pray for this family and for our country.  

Our Father, who art in heaven

Hallowed be thy name,

Thy Kingdom come, 

Thy will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day

Our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses,

As we forgive those who trespass against us.

For Thine is the Kingdom

and the Power

and the Glory

Forever,

Amen

Note:  Written in memorial to Houston Deputy, Darren Goforth, as well as a tribute to the many good men and women who risk their lives to serve and protect us every day.  God bless you all.

Lions and Tigers and Bears...

Oh, MY!

Driving through the woods last year, on a vacation with my daughter and her husband, I sat in the back seat enjoying the beauty of God's world all around me. Looking out the window lazily, I was startled to see a huge black mass of fur strolling through the trees, sure enough, as if he owned the place! Right in front of me was a living, breathing, black bear, on whose land I believe we were trespassing! 

I had seen wood carvings in all of the tourist shops in the area that proudly announced to the tourists, "You are in BEAR territory!" As a city girl, I found it mildly amusing, didn't take it too seriously. I had heard many a bear story, but, to me they were little more than myth. Until I looked one right in the eye. I held my breath as he stopped the traffic while he sauntered across the road. Crossing directly in front of our car, he turned and looked in the front window, as if sizing us up as tourists not worth eating today (thank the Lord!). I believe he was more interested in going fishing in the twinkling waters of the stream that wound itself around the trees and rocks that were strewn like so much confetti all along the side of the road. This was God's creation, A world of extravagant beauty splashing and shouting its abandon all around us. 

That's me in the back seat!

I treasure the memory of that sweet interlude in my life, provided by God through the hands and generosity of my daughter and her husband. I delighted in the beauty of the world they had given me an opportunity to see. The gorgeous beauty of the trees, changing their clothes to fit the season - sometimes, ruby red, sometimes glittering gold, sometimes fading green, or popsicle orange, on their way to the forest floor to sleep before the winter snows blanketed the world. 

There were only about 3 or 4 of us in the church as one of the ladies visiting, like us,
sat down at the old, rickety piano, and sang Amazing Grace with the voice of an angel.
I remember thinking of all of the believers who had worshipped and died and were buried in the back of the church, who were now in heaven witnessing that their church is still being used for God's praises, hundreds of years later.  Amazing, indeed...

I remember with great affection the loveliness of that sweet vacation. The beautiful little church from the 19th century where I was one of a tiny gathering of spectators to a choir of one who sat down at the old church piano and filled the hills with her beautiful voice, singing Amazing Grace. I treasure the memory of the evening my son-in-law drove high up into the hills on a night that showcased the stars like diamonds freely thrown about against a blackened sky. Simply breathtaking is the beauty of the world God has created!

"The heavens declare the glory of God
and the firmament displays His handiwork..."
Psalm 1:1

There are countless memories I have from that time with my children. But of all the memories and wonders I treasure, the one that warms me like a fire on a cold and snowy night, is the memory of the love so freely and joyfully bestowed on me with such abandon. Loving each other extravagantly, and letting their love splash all over me, was really the greatest gift I received from these two co-conspirators in love and generosity toward me.  

Many are the wonders of God's creation.  From the breathtaking beauty of the world He created and freely gave to us, to the beautiful voices raised to sing His praise, to the majesty of the wildlife, fish jumping in the sparkling spring waters, black furry bears strolling on their way to somewhere, yes, of all of these wonders, there is one even more captivating to me. The wonder of love that bursts out of our hearts for another.  The sweet, life changing gift of love, from the One who says He is Love itself.

What a joy to have sat down at the banquet table of the Lord with my daughter and her husband, who served me up heaping portions of His love, and never left a tab.  Yes, I enjoyed everything I saw. But, mostly, I loved watching you. Sharing with you.  Being loved by you.  Did you know you are, to me, a reflection of the best there is in this world?  Did you know, I was basking in your love?  If not, I'm telling you now...

Amen... :)