When You Were Inside of Me...
How can it be that yesterday
The budding flower of you
Lay nestled and protected
Beneath my beating heart,
But today, you are no more?
Was it only a dream I had of you
Or was it really true?
Hidden inside of me,
Where no-one else could see.
Was it true you called me Mama
And I called you My Pet?
No bigger than a pencil point,
A tiny little miracle,
You began your life in me,
Not a blob of tissue, not some cells I could ignore,
How could I explain to others that you were so much more?
I loved you in the beginning, in the middle and in the end,
I stroked your cheek to keep you calm,
I counted your toes, I tickled your chin,
And cradled you in my arms,
When you were inside of me.
I read you stories and sang you songs
And bounced you on my knee.
I whispered your name in my sleep,
Your little face filled my dreams,
When you were inside of me.
Don't ask me to wake up this morning
How I hate this day,
Your screams and cries are all I hear.
There is no life within me.
They have stolen you away.
No, I will never be the same
No matter what they say,
You cannot be replaced.
You will never be forgotten.
For when they took you from me
They took away my heart.
Will you know me when I get to heaven
Will I know you, My Pet?
Does the sun rise in the morning
In the evening, does it set?
You, my darling baby,
I never will forget.
Do you search for me sometimes
Wondering where am I?
Does God our Father comfort you,
When you begin to cry?
Does your guardian angel read you stories
And bounce you on his knee?
Does he tell you how I loved you
When you were inside of me?
Will he hold you to the window
to watch and wait for me?
Will he tell you when I'm coming
Will he let you run to me?
Do you remember how I loved you
When you were inside of me...
Note: This poem is an original work written by me and lovingly dedicated to the many women who have lost their babies through abortion and miscarriage and who will never be the same. Also dedicated to my own little one, lost in the fifth month of pregnancy.
May God comfort and heal the many mothers (and grandmothers) who lost their babies before they ever got to hold them in their arms.
I can't imagine the pain you speak of since I have never carried a baby within, but I am sorry for your loss regardless of how much time has passed. As I watched the movie Courageous last night, the Pastor character told the main character who lost his daughter at 9 years of age that anyone who has lost a loved one goes through an amputation of sorts. They may heal but are never quite the same. It changes them. I'm sure you can relate to that analogy.
ReplyDeleteYes, Shannon, I can. It is absolutely true that we lose something that is a part of us and we are never the same. For many women who have lost a baby, either through abortion or miscarriage, often, because there was no baby actually born for everyone to see, there is no funeral, no formal recognition of the loss and the woman is left alone to grieve. Today, there is more of a recognition of a woman's need to have her loss acknowledged and her grief named. This is actually the first time I have even publicly acknowledged the depth of the loss this was for me. God heals us and carries us until we are home. But, most of us never forget. Thank you for your compassion, Shannon. I love that about you.
ReplyDeleteThis is completely unrelated but I wanted you to know that I just ordered Half the Sky, one of the books on your list to do a book club with. So, by the time you are done with the Weight of Your Words book, I should have Half the Sky in my possession. I have had such a burden for women subjected to sex slavery so I chose that book off your list.
ReplyDeletevery beautiful poem Maureen.You should submit this one too.
ReplyDelete