Monday, October 17, 2011
In My Father's House
This has not been one of my better days. I planned on writing this first thing this morning and here I am at day's end, just getting to it. Pretty much anything that could go wrong, has. On days like this, I struggle to maintain my composure to fit the well constructed view I have of 'what a christian woman SHOULD be'! Do you have a list? Here's some of mine.
She should ALWAYS be demonstrating the Fruit of the Spirit. Oh, dear, blew that one! Where's the patience hiding? Not to mention the self-control! That went out the window first thing this morning! Joy? Not today, thank you, very much. Peace - what's that? Who could have peace in the middle of this chaos? Long Suffering? Why would I want to do that?!
Winding myself up in knots, I took my complaint to the Lord. He sat down next to me and listened to my list of grievances against His expectations of me. Just not fair. I can't do this. I'm having a bad day. On and on I went. He waited for me to come up for air and then smiled that smile that always breaks my heart with His love. He pulled His chair up close to mine and laughed at my self-condemning critique of my day.
"You know, little one, He chided me, You're not in this thing alone! I told you to come to Me for help, because I know you! I knew you would be pounding your head against a wall if you tried to do this on your own. I'm right here. I was waiting for you to come. My name is Helper. Comforter. The Source of Your Strength. The One Who Carries You. The One Who Knows You by name. You belong to Me! I have made a place for you in My House. That's what fathers do...
I took a deep breath and felt the steam go out of the room. I knew I was safe. I knew I was home. In my Father's house...
Question: How about you? Ever feel like a failure at this 'christian thing'? How do you handle it? How do you get past it and forgive yourself for blowing it? Or, do you?!