Here is a re-post of one of the earliest poems I wrote that is a favorite of mine.
(Re-titled from Standing in the Need of Grace)
It expresses the wonder of how it is that God profoundly loves us and pursues us even while we are pushing Him away, pounding our fists at Him in anger and frustration and wallowing in our sin.
I love Him for that...
I reached for You when I was lonely,
Pushed You away when I was hurting.
I rejected who You are.
I screamed at You for leaving me alone and fearful for my life.
I blamed You for my screw-ups and all my failures too.
I kicked You when You touched me and rejected Your embrace.
I swore at You profanities, I decided You deserved.
I ran from You,
I hid from You.
I bartered You away.
I covered my eyes when You went by and looked the other way.
I mocked You.
I spat my hatred in Your face, every chance I got.
I ignored You, denied I ever knew You.
I worshiped other gods before You, stole Your glory for my own.
I cursed You for not loving me the way that I defined.
I heard You knocking at the door and locked it even tighter.
I covered my ears to keep from hearing You calling out my name.
I played religious games with You and thought You'd never see.
I so much wanted to hurt You for what they did to me.
Where were You Lord, when I was lost?
When those I loved ignored me, rejected and abused me?
Did you stand by and watch from a distance, enjoying all You saw?
Where were You, Lord? Where were You?
Did You love me then as now?
Did You see my heart was breaking -
I wonder, did You care?
I kicked at Him and screamed at Him
Until I couldn't fight Him anymore.
He followed me, He followed me,
He chased me everywhere.
He loved me, He loved me
He bled with me, He hurt with me,
He came inside my pain.
He washed my wounds and covered me
With love that never fails.
It never seemed to bother Him
That I rejected Him to choose instead my sin.
He covered me over with His love
He pulled me to Him constantly
And understood my need.
How desperate was my ache for Him
But I could not find a way,
To tell Him that I needed Him
I had no words to say.
He wrapped His arms around me.
He knew my need before I spoke.
He chased me down, He captured me,
He loved me anyway...
I wondered how it was
this God that I abhorred
Could ever have pursued me
or loved me anymore?
I am the one He rescued
When I didn't have a plea...
I will praise His name forever
That He loved someone like me...
Psalm 107:2 NKJV